I was talking to a friend of mine this morning about her financial goals for the year. After listening to her for a few minutes, I interrupted to ask how she felt about those goals.
There was a long pause. Finally, I asked if I could share my thoughts about goals - why I don't set them for myself, and why I think they're terribly limiting and frustrating.
I had been in the right place at the right time for her, and had helped her see a new way of approaching her business, her clients, and her whole life - a way that felt scary, but spacious and even inspiring in ways that traditional goal-setting just can't achieve.
By the end of the call, she was in tears, and I nearly was.
Are you ready to try something new? Here's what I shared with her; I hope it will be as inspiring to you.
Goals are like Boxes
When you were a kid, it was fun to play in big packing boxes. But squashing your life into one is a very different feeling. And that's what goals do.
I've observed over and over again, with myself and with clients, that setting goals creates limitations - and panic! Once a goal is set, you immediately start thinking about it; you can't stop thinking about it. Everything you do is focused on achieving the goal. My friend saw all her potential clients as walking dollar signs- not very comfortable for her or for them!
Will everyone think I'm a failure?" Then, as my friend commented this morning, there's always the "Oh, I didn't really mean that" thing that happens when a goal starts to feel unreachable.
"How will I meet my goal? What happens if I don't succeed?
On the other hand, when you finally reach your goal you think, "Ahhh... I achieved it. Now I can relax." And you put your feet up and take a deep breath. Whether you do this literally or figuratively, you've stopped. What amazing things would happen if you kept going? You'll never know.
An Invitation to Be
So I asked my friend, "Who would you be if you weren't so focused on financial goals?"
There was another long silence, but this one was full of electricity - I could almost see the exclamation marks flying in her thoughts. Finally, she said, "I don't know!"
"I've asked myself that question before," she added, "but it's always been what would I do. I never thought of asking who I would be."
Just as I've seen people box themselves in with goals, I've seen them set themselves free with an intention to be.
When you start with an intention to be something special, to be more of who you really are, the goals you might have set are nothing compared to what you'll actually receive, accomplish, and experience.
Set your intention with commitment and heart, even when it frightens you.
The more powerfully you set the intention, the better. Set an intention that stretches you, that pushes you out of your habits, that makes you feel nervous and vulnerable.
What she didn't know was how amazingly rewarding it would be. She received gifts of friendship, service, joy, peace, and love that have changed her life forever, in ways she could not have imagined.
I know someone who was always giving. Immensely generous of spirit and in action, she felt threatened and vulnerable in receiving. When she set an intention to be someone who receives as well as giving, she knew it would be challenging.
And all she did was set the intention - and then she noticed whether she was being in alignment with that intention.
What will you be?
what are goals
for more info visit http://lord-abnev.com/WHAT%20ARE%20GOALS.com/
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Changing And Keeping Resolutions by Lord Abnev and What are goals
Many of us have difficulty following through on our resolutions due to factors such as choosing unrealistic goals, not making them challenging enough and/or lacking the necessary motivation to stick with them. The following tips should help put you on the right course and assist you in staying committed to your most important goals for 2006.
It’s time for that annual ritual of making (and breaking) our New Year’s resolutions. There is something about the idea of being able to start over that motivates us to pause (at least briefly) and reflect on our lives as they are, as well as how we would like them to be. Yet how many times have you thought back to last year’s goals and found that many or most of them were abandoned or just forgotten after a few weeks or months into the year?
Begin with a life vision
Then try to see your life if all of these areas were addressed and had become satisfactory to you.
If you don’t know what you want your future to look like, how can you decide what areas of your life need to be worked on? Spend some quiet time TODAY reflecting on (and writing down) what is good, bad or incomplete.
Get ordered and organized
Keep ONE calendar to record all appointments, events, etc. Write down everything- don’t rely on memory. Clear away clutter. Go through paperwork, files, old bills and receipts, closets, drawers and storage containers. Decide what you need and will use and either throw out or give away all the rest. Put aside some time each week for this purpose. After you have cleaned out you can think about your existing systems for management and storage and see if these need reworking or just some fine-tuning.
Make a commitment to learning something new and Expand your horizons
It will help build your self-esteem to realize you really are capable of more than you had previously believed. This new learning can also give you additional resources to assist you in your career, personal or love life. Challenging yourself will infuse you with greater energy and sense of purpose.
Realistic Resolutions challenging Yourself
Choose goals that stretch your ability muscles, yet are realistic and therefore less vulnerable to failure. Don’t respond to that negative inner voice that says; oh, I’m not capable of that. Instead, focus on what you truly desire for your life and relationships and let this be your guide.
Resolutions and Writing down
You can also show them to a good friend, family member, your coach or anyone who could provide support and encouragement.
Write them down and stick them on your bathroom mirror, your fridge, your car dashboard, your desk or wherever you know will be a good place for you to see them.
Keep an accounting of your progress for each. and Create action steps for each resolution; write them down
Come up with an accountability system that will work for you. Make sure you check off each accomplishment as you go and be flexible and willing to make adjustments in your action steps in order to achieve your desired end results.A resolution without planned action is doomed to failure. Break each goal down into small action steps or objectives. Putting a date for completion will help ensure you follow through.
Exercise regularly and learn to control and eliminate unhealthy stress and take care of yourself; eat well.
How many times have you said, I don’t have the time to eat right, exercise, sleep adequately, etc? Not caring for yourself will guarantee failure.
I know this is an obvious one, so why is it often ignored or overlooked when we are attempting to make important life changes?
Work to eliminate bad habits For each bad habit you decide to eliminate, have a good habit in mind to replace it with. Including this as a New Year’s resolution would put you on the road to good follow-through. Bad habits will sabotage your efforts and use up your limited resources of time, energy and focus.
what are goals
for more info visit http://lord-abnev.com/WHAT%20ARE%20GOALS.com/
It’s time for that annual ritual of making (and breaking) our New Year’s resolutions. There is something about the idea of being able to start over that motivates us to pause (at least briefly) and reflect on our lives as they are, as well as how we would like them to be. Yet how many times have you thought back to last year’s goals and found that many or most of them were abandoned or just forgotten after a few weeks or months into the year?
Begin with a life vision
Then try to see your life if all of these areas were addressed and had become satisfactory to you.
If you don’t know what you want your future to look like, how can you decide what areas of your life need to be worked on? Spend some quiet time TODAY reflecting on (and writing down) what is good, bad or incomplete.
Get ordered and organized
Keep ONE calendar to record all appointments, events, etc. Write down everything- don’t rely on memory. Clear away clutter. Go through paperwork, files, old bills and receipts, closets, drawers and storage containers. Decide what you need and will use and either throw out or give away all the rest. Put aside some time each week for this purpose. After you have cleaned out you can think about your existing systems for management and storage and see if these need reworking or just some fine-tuning.
Make a commitment to learning something new and Expand your horizons
It will help build your self-esteem to realize you really are capable of more than you had previously believed. This new learning can also give you additional resources to assist you in your career, personal or love life. Challenging yourself will infuse you with greater energy and sense of purpose.
Realistic Resolutions challenging Yourself
Choose goals that stretch your ability muscles, yet are realistic and therefore less vulnerable to failure. Don’t respond to that negative inner voice that says; oh, I’m not capable of that. Instead, focus on what you truly desire for your life and relationships and let this be your guide.
Resolutions and Writing down
You can also show them to a good friend, family member, your coach or anyone who could provide support and encouragement.
Write them down and stick them on your bathroom mirror, your fridge, your car dashboard, your desk or wherever you know will be a good place for you to see them.
Keep an accounting of your progress for each. and Create action steps for each resolution; write them down
Come up with an accountability system that will work for you. Make sure you check off each accomplishment as you go and be flexible and willing to make adjustments in your action steps in order to achieve your desired end results.A resolution without planned action is doomed to failure. Break each goal down into small action steps or objectives. Putting a date for completion will help ensure you follow through.
Exercise regularly and learn to control and eliminate unhealthy stress and take care of yourself; eat well.
How many times have you said, I don’t have the time to eat right, exercise, sleep adequately, etc? Not caring for yourself will guarantee failure.
I know this is an obvious one, so why is it often ignored or overlooked when we are attempting to make important life changes?
Work to eliminate bad habits For each bad habit you decide to eliminate, have a good habit in mind to replace it with. Including this as a New Year’s resolution would put you on the road to good follow-through. Bad habits will sabotage your efforts and use up your limited resources of time, energy and focus.
what are goals
for more info visit http://lord-abnev.com/WHAT%20ARE%20GOALS.com/
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